


Red As Carnations

by v_larr



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a sad ending, Gen, One Shot, One Sided Love, Open to Interpretation, Pining, Unrequited Love, hanahaki disease au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 03:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11683062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/v_larr/pseuds/v_larr
Summary: "You made flowers grow in my lungs, and although they are beautiful, I can't breathe." ~~Unknown





	Red As Carnations

The world is a cruel, sadistic place. Able to make anything, from beautiful blooming flowers, to the most pure of feelings into a curse; a sickness.

***************************

Yuuri was eight years old when he first learned of the Hanahaki disease. 

The students were meant to do a study on a book about this disease. No one knew what it was at first. The word only brought confusion amongst them. At least, until one little girl with glasses and pigtails brought it up.

“It’s a disease where if someone suffers from unrequited love, if they love someone who doesn’t love them back, they start coughing up flower petals!”

Most students were intrigued by this. Flower petals? Unrequited love? It was meant to be a beautifully tragic thing, but to the students, it was nothing but a form of gossip.

“It's fake!” assumed some. 

“It's totally real!” countered others. 

Little Yuuri, of course, didn't care for that nonsense. He had found his true love in figure skating. In the way the blades scraped against the ice. In the way he could control his every step, every movement. He loved the way it felt as though he was soaring, dancing on the ice.

He had told Yu-chan of this, to which she chuckled, “Yuuri-kun, you just learned your crossovers, you're not exactly ‘dancing’ yet!” 

To him, that didn't matter. What mattered was the emotion that came with skating. The bursting in his chest the second he stepped on the ice and the happiness that bubbled up inside, when he learned a new move. He loved the ice, and the ice loved him back. He didn't have to worry about any Hanahaki disease, whether it was real or not.

Not yet, at least. 

 

********************

Yuuri was ten years old when he began to wonder. 

"Yuuri-kun, what do you think of Hanahaki?” Yu-chan had asked, eyes sparkling with curiosity. Honestly, Yuuri couldn't care less. Why should some fictional disease matter when there were double jumps to work on, and spins to perfect? 

“I don’t know,” he said, refusing to meet her eyes. His face was already red enough. She had worn her bold pink hair in a different way than before, and Yuuri couldn't help but think it made her look adorable. “I guess I just don't understand why everyone’s so worked up about it? It's fake, and even if it was real, no one would be laughing about it.” 

“But how do you know it's not real?”

_Because you don't see me coughing up petals, do you?_

*******************

Yuuri was twelve years old when the flowers came.

Yu-chan was always the kind of girl to obsess. Whether it was new clothes, a drama she saw on TV, or a cute animal she saw, she’d always be able to rant about it. Yuuri had even heard her used the term ‘fangirl’ on herself. Out of all her obsessions, there was nothing she loved more than figure skating.

However, Yuuri prefered being on the ice himself. Spinning, jumping and dancing to his heart’s content. Yu-chan also loved to watch the professionals. 

“They wear such beautiful costumes, and they’re so amazing!”

Despite Yu-chan’s constant efforts, Yuuri wouldn’t watch a single performance with her. There was no time to obsess over professionals when he had to work hard to become one. He had only been in minor competitions, but what he truly wanted was to go international.

“Just watch one with me! I promise you’ll love him!” Yu-chan pleaded one day. She had stared so intensely at Yuuri he felt he’d explode if he rejected her. So, just this once, he said yes. This was the best and worst decision of his life.

Disaster came in the form of long silver hair and a crystallized costume flying across the ice. It was as they were connected. The boy skated with grace and beauty. It was so intense that Yuuri couldn’t look away. 

“It's him!” Yu-chan exclaimed. “It's Viktor Nikiforov!” 

The performance had a theme a bit too mature for Yuuri, but he couldn’t stop watching. He was enchanted by the way Viktor moved across the ice, delicately and beautifully. His expressions showed that he knew of the way the audience, Yuuri included, was completely under his spell. 

“Isn't he amazing?” 

_Yes, yes indeed._

Suddenly, there was a burning in Yuuri’s chest, tearing apart his lungs with a pain so agonizing it was impossible to ignore. It faded after a stinging cough, which brought up a flower petal. This was the only evidence of Yuuri’s momentary pain. 

All he could do was stare in shock at the petal in his hand. Soft and small and light red in colour. Except for the dark red drops of blood sprinkling it. 

Yu-chan had looked at him then, eyes wide as realization set in, tears beginning to appear in her large eyes. She set her hand over her mouth and reached the other at Yuuri, who shot away from her reach.

“I-I don’t understand,” she gasped. 

Neither did Yuuri.

***************

Yuuri was fifteen years old when he finally understood.

Three years of suffering, of wondering why he had to be the victim, and he finally understood. 

It was what could have been Viktor Nikiforov’s hundredth gold medal, shining in the television. It was Yuuri’s own Junior silver medal hanging on his bookshelf. It was his black worn down skates in his closet that finally made him understand. 

He was in love with the ice, he always was, and always would be. Somehow, that love found itself into Viktor, a man so beautiful and terrifying. Someone Yuuri wished he could be, with talent he wished he had. 

Who could’ve known that after all this time, the one thing he loved the most would end up being his demise.

*****************

Yuuri was eighteen years old when he realized he had to do something.

He had found a coach he could trust in Celestino Cialdini, a hard working man who understood Yuuri more than his previous coaches. The only catch was, he’d have to move far away from home. He was used to travel, sure, but moving permanently would be hard for him. He’d have to say goodbye to his parents, to Mari-neechan, to Vicchan. He’d have to say goodbye to Yu-chan, to the triplets, to Nishigori. Would he be able to handle being away from the people he had known all his life? Would he be able to leave everything behind for his fatal passion?

The answer was yes, but there’s someone else he’d have to say goodbye to as well. 

Yuuri had a vase, a clear plastic one that he had put all of the petals in. They were such a beautiful colour, and despite their deadliness, he just couldn’t throw them away. So every time he coughed, which happened more often these days, he’d put them in. But now, the vase was filling up, almost overflowing with the petals, with the memories and emotions that came with them. 

Months ago, Yuuri had been approached by a tired Yu-chan, who had told him of the effects of the disease. She had no desire to sugarcoat anything.

“You’re running out of time, Yuuri-kun. Soon enough, the flowers will clog up your lungs if you don’t do something!” she had yelled at him. Despite her statement, he just couldn’t. He must have been something of a masochist, wanting to keep these bittersweet emotions and the flowers that came with them.

But now, now that he was beginning to take his skating career more seriously, he realized he had to take action. With Yu-chan’s help, he found someone who specialized in Hanahaki, an old man with sorrowful memories in his eyes and a pitying smile on his face. He had responded kindly to Yuuri’s questions and had gently reassured him of what would happen. Once the surgery was over, there’d be no more flowers, and no more emotions for the person forever.

There was only one thought in Yuuri’s mind as he closed his eyes.

_Goodbye, Viktor Nikiforov. I’ll always remember the flowers._

**************************

Yuuri was twenty-three years old when he met the man who had caused his suffering. 

He was different than the boy Yuuri had first seen all those years ago. His form was different. Older and more masculine, all femininity from his youth gone. The happiness in his eyes was different than before. It seemed faker. Yuuri couldn’t help but notice all these details about Viktor, despite not knowing him as more than an idol.

Viktor had said something to him, he was sure of it, but Yuuri didn’t care. He didn’t want to care, not after what caring had done to him. The embarrassment of sixth place in the final, the pain of Vicchan’s death, everything made him want to disappear. So he simply turned around and left, ignoring what everyone told him. 

**************************************

Yuuri had no idea what had happened that night during the banquet. He had no idea of the things he had done. And he had no idea, that the next morning, Viktor Nikiforov would awaken to burning coughs and flower petals on his bed. All because of him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for making it this far in my story! I hoped you enjoyed reading it! It's pretty short, but it was an idea I had for ages and I'm glad to finally be able to write and share it :D
> 
> If you want to check out some multifandom craziness, check out my Tumblr @omgrandomwords !!!


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